I am a fan of the old fashioned manners. When I introduced my kids to adults (neighbours, friends, etc), I did so formally (Mrs Neighbour, Mr Friend) and it mostly worked out.
Then there was the time I introduced my son (then age 9) to a new neighbour… and my son replied “Well, the things you see when you don’t have a shotgun.”
To be fair, I only used that expression once in my son’s presence and who knew the wee bugger would remember it…
Please consider removing the “Kung Flu” reference. China’s hard and soft power machinations aside, (which I know far more about than most) it serves no constructive purpose to refer to SARS-CoV2 as Kung Flu. Stigmatization and Xenophobia are the weapons of tyrants, not us “good guys.” We are better than that. I say this as a healthcare provider who has personally worked with many contagious or uncommon pathologies such as Ebola, Diphtheria, Cholera, Tetanus, Rabies, Leprosy, etc. I am also a military veteran, and have followed and financially supported DbD literally since its first days. I apologize for the public “call out” , but, I looked quickly and could not find a way to send this privately. V/R Smith
May 29, 2020 at 11:48 pm
Chris Muir
I appreciate your candor Sean. I’m guessing you’re too young to have ever seen Dean Martin Roasts. Or Blazing Saddles. Sack up.
May 30, 2020 at 12:52 am
Henry
I consider it an appropriate and deserved slap at a rogue country that has made every attempt (including blaming others) to evade the blame for unleashing this worldwide economic holocaust. If China mans up and accepts its responsibility, I will no longer feel the need to keep emphasizing whose responsibility it is.
May 29, 2020 at 12:58 am
cz93x62
Got the E-mail today, fundage enroute via snail mail manana.
Maybe it’s my southern upbringing (even if it was north Virginia), but close family friends, even if they weren’t relatives, were always “Aunt/Auntie” and “Uncle”.
I would have expected Xavier to be saying “Aunt Sam” (as odd as that sounds) instead of Mrs Owens.
Yes. We had several fictive aunts, uncles, and cousins (and I grew up in Minnesota, Montana, and the Dakotas.) Looking back, they were my Mom’s high school and college best friends, their spouses, and children. Dad’s were Mr, Mrs, and not cousins. Huh. The things you notice in your seventies. On Dad’s side, there were more than twice as many “real” aunts, uncles, and spouses.
I suspect that if there are more “real” relatives, there are fewer “by choice” relatives. My parents had the reverse pattern of yours. I think both kinds are great, and have enjoyed being informally “adopted” into three families over the years.
May 29, 2020 at 9:36 am
MAJ Arkay
Where I grew up in Texas, that’s not the case. We refer to parents’ friends as Mr. Last Name or Miz First Name, or often just by their first names. Depends entirely upon the friends’ preferences. I know of no-one who ever called family friends by Aunt/Uncle.
They do the same in parts of Asia; I married a woman from Taiwan and you would never guess the number of Chinese kids that call me Uncle (my wife is a piano teacher)
I grew up in northern Virginia. It seems to be a Southern tradition that if you are short of relatives, you are allowed to adopt as many as you require. I had two sets of grandparents, and numerous aunts, uncles and cousins, none of which were related by blood. No complaints, it made for a happy childhood.
My parents had five siblings each, all of whom got married, so we had plenty of blood-related Aunts and Uncles growing up. At the same time, we were a military family and didn’t get to see blood relatives all that often, but there were other military families that we kept crossing paths with, and they became “Aunts and Uncles” also.
People always talk about “the brotherhood” (and now sisterhood) of military personnel, But you get the same close ties among military families as well, probably because we were all in the same boat.
At my Grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary, I had over 150 first cousins, some of which were already Grandparents themselves. I had 28 Aunts and Uncles. That was a lot of Yes Ma’ams and Sirs. Not to mention the Nuns.
Yes sirs and no ma’ams absolutely…many southern boys like myself use them often still.
Likewise Mr. and Ms. for strangers and acquaintances. But for family, yes there’s a lot of that surrogate aunt and uncle stuff down here but I was never big on that and neither were my children.
What then? After about puberty for defacto family (how much closer could four friends be than Sam/Zed and Janelle/Damon and their spawn?) first names are perfectly fine, actually an endearment in that context. Just don’t forget the sir and ma’am.
The “Yes mam/sir” reflex can be entertaining. While going through check-out at the grocery store, sometimes you can inadvertently confuse the young girl 30 years younger than you when using what to you is normal polite protocol.
Position of relative authority? “Mam/Sir” as required for polite interaction.
I grew up with the aunt/uncle by affection tradition. One “aunt” whom I knew from my elementary school days was tickled pink when I kept calling her aunt, even though I was in my college and beyond years. Few did, apparently: they went to first name. (I have told my “nieces” and “nephews” that I am uncle until they turn 21 or join the military.)
To my neighbor kids, I am mister [last name]. To the kids of friends, I borrowed the Southern tradition and am Mr. [first name].
30 Comments
Annual Fundraiser – Never has spending money felt so good!
Mrs. Owens?
Huh. Seems formal considering…
Meanwhile I’m trying to decide “what level of deplorable” I can afford to be. 🙂
I am a fan of the old fashioned manners. When I introduced my kids to adults (neighbours, friends, etc), I did so formally (Mrs Neighbour, Mr Friend) and it mostly worked out.
Then there was the time I introduced my son (then age 9) to a new neighbour… and my son replied “Well, the things you see when you don’t have a shotgun.”
To be fair, I only used that expression once in my son’s presence and who knew the wee bugger would remember it…
They hear EVERYTHING. And nothing’s sacred; it’s all filed away to be used at the opportune time when it’s most embarrassing to you
Hank Ketcham made a career out of that observation with Dennis the Menace.
“Little pitchers have big ears.”
Javier was brought up to respect his elders.
Am totally Deplorable and all the other things they call us.
Damn Proud Of It, Too!
But you ain’t seen the 2020 DBD levels and the price tags attached to them yet. 🙂
SO, are you going to have an extra-cost option like last year’s “RED file” “Hooters, and Cooters and Tushes, OH MY!”
Yup!
Please consider removing the “Kung Flu” reference. China’s hard and soft power machinations aside, (which I know far more about than most) it serves no constructive purpose to refer to SARS-CoV2 as Kung Flu. Stigmatization and Xenophobia are the weapons of tyrants, not us “good guys.” We are better than that. I say this as a healthcare provider who has personally worked with many contagious or uncommon pathologies such as Ebola, Diphtheria, Cholera, Tetanus, Rabies, Leprosy, etc. I am also a military veteran, and have followed and financially supported DbD literally since its first days. I apologize for the public “call out” , but, I looked quickly and could not find a way to send this privately. V/R Smith
I appreciate your candor Sean. I’m guessing you’re too young to have ever seen Dean Martin Roasts. Or Blazing Saddles. Sack up.
I consider it an appropriate and deserved slap at a rogue country that has made every attempt (including blaming others) to evade the blame for unleashing this worldwide economic holocaust. If China mans up and accepts its responsibility, I will no longer feel the need to keep emphasizing whose responsibility it is.
Got the E-mail today, fundage enroute via snail mail manana.
As close as the families are, I cannot understand why it is not Aunt Sam and Uncle Zed. After all Sam and Jan are stepsisters
Maybe it’s my southern upbringing (even if it was north Virginia), but close family friends, even if they weren’t relatives, were always “Aunt/Auntie” and “Uncle”.
I would have expected Xavier to be saying “Aunt Sam” (as odd as that sounds) instead of Mrs Owens.
Yes. We had several fictive aunts, uncles, and cousins (and I grew up in Minnesota, Montana, and the Dakotas.) Looking back, they were my Mom’s high school and college best friends, their spouses, and children. Dad’s were Mr, Mrs, and not cousins. Huh. The things you notice in your seventies. On Dad’s side, there were more than twice as many “real” aunts, uncles, and spouses.
I suspect that if there are more “real” relatives, there are fewer “by choice” relatives. My parents had the reverse pattern of yours. I think both kinds are great, and have enjoyed being informally “adopted” into three families over the years.
Where I grew up in Texas, that’s not the case. We refer to parents’ friends as Mr. Last Name or Miz First Name, or often just by their first names. Depends entirely upon the friends’ preferences. I know of no-one who ever called family friends by Aunt/Uncle.
They do the same in parts of Asia; I married a woman from Taiwan and you would never guess the number of Chinese kids that call me Uncle (my wife is a piano teacher)
UAV-on-UAV action sounds as more fun, however. Battlebots, only “for real” and in air.
The ballistics of falling battlebot swarms.
I grew up in northern Virginia. It seems to be a Southern tradition that if you are short of relatives, you are allowed to adopt as many as you require. I had two sets of grandparents, and numerous aunts, uncles and cousins, none of which were related by blood. No complaints, it made for a happy childhood.
My parents had five siblings each, all of whom got married, so we had plenty of blood-related Aunts and Uncles growing up. At the same time, we were a military family and didn’t get to see blood relatives all that often, but there were other military families that we kept crossing paths with, and they became “Aunts and Uncles” also.
People always talk about “the brotherhood” (and now sisterhood) of military personnel, But you get the same close ties among military families as well, probably because we were all in the same boat.
At my Grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary, I had over 150 first cousins, some of which were already Grandparents themselves. I had 28 Aunts and Uncles. That was a lot of Yes Ma’ams and Sirs. Not to mention the Nuns.
Yes sirs and no ma’ams absolutely…many southern boys like myself use them often still.
Likewise Mr. and Ms. for strangers and acquaintances. But for family, yes there’s a lot of that surrogate aunt and uncle stuff down here but I was never big on that and neither were my children.
What then? After about puberty for defacto family (how much closer could four friends be than Sam/Zed and Janelle/Damon and their spawn?) first names are perfectly fine, actually an endearment in that context. Just don’t forget the sir and ma’am.
The “Yes mam/sir” reflex can be entertaining. While going through check-out at the grocery store, sometimes you can inadvertently confuse the young girl 30 years younger than you when using what to you is normal polite protocol.
Position of relative authority? “Mam/Sir” as required for polite interaction.
By that I assumed she meant you have until dinner to design the EMP bot.
I grew up with the aunt/uncle by affection tradition. One “aunt” whom I knew from my elementary school days was tickled pink when I kept calling her aunt, even though I was in my college and beyond years. Few did, apparently: they went to first name. (I have told my “nieces” and “nephews” that I am uncle until they turn 21 or join the military.)
To my neighbor kids, I am mister [last name]. To the kids of friends, I borrowed the Southern tradition and am Mr. [first name].