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Between the Rock and a Hard Place.

32 Comments

  • July 22, 2023 at 12:10 am
    Too Tall

    Pulling off the road might make this a life altering AND a life saving moment.

    REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 12:33 am
    Htrn

    Anybody else find that FedEx truck suspicious, considering yesterday’s ominous foreshadowing?

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  • July 22, 2023 at 12:40 am
    The Basseteer

    Human smuggling?

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    • July 22, 2023 at 12:52 am
      CuriousB

      They (the smugglers) did do that recently with a fake FedEx truck. So it is plausible.

      REPLY
      • July 22, 2023 at 7:27 am
        MasterDiver

        The interior looked like a car. Delivery trucks don’t have a center console on the floor or footwells to collect the empties.

        Zar Belk!

      • July 22, 2023 at 9:30 am
        Gdog

        Yep, that’s not a legit FedEx driver or truck interior! (good catch). Not sure where CM’s going with the two youngsters. Seems a bit early in the story for her to have a “bun in the oven”…just sayin’ I don’t follow where CM’s going with it. I’m sure we’ll all find out! Now turn that caddy around and phone Zed and Sam about the fake FedEx truck!

      • July 22, 2023 at 12:27 pm
        ULTRA-MAGA TOP DAWG JTC

        Guarantee you CM doesn’t know where it’s going either…seat of the pants, laid back, iconic procrastinator, waiting on a story line to pop up in comments so y’all keep it coming!

      • July 24, 2023 at 9:13 pm
        Punta Gorda

        Was working a printer service call for the FHP station down in Panama City a few years ago. A notice on the bulletin board was pointing out some of the official looking company trucks that were fake and used for smuggling.

        So, yes.. it’s a very real thing.

  • July 22, 2023 at 1:03 am
    Too Tall

    Now you two younguns need to perfect a plan to simultumultuously deliver the good news to Sam and Mrs. Cates.

    Zed will be okay with finding out a few milliseconds after Sam, but he will definitely NOT be okay if he has to ask the question: “Have you told your mothers yet?”

    Then, beginning with the Don and Kimiko, (there is a reason a good etiquette book still has a chapter on the Order of Precedence list), inform everybody else. DO NOT be surprised if Jo, Aunt Naomi, Mari, and possibly Mia already know (or have intuited, or mind read, or used some other feminine art). Expect ‘Toly, Travis, Tucker, Javier, and basically all of your male relatives and friends except for the Don and Zed to be clueless.

    Jack, family traditions involving Las Vegas aside, a quick glance at the “About” page indicates that Kiko could easily have up to a squad reinforced of bridesmaids. Even though Mari, Mia, and Jo probably already have the “+1” identified (assuming Ian’s broken leg is healed, and Jeff can make the correct sartorial decisions) you need friends, lots of friends.

    Even if the wedding is small and private, your remotest relatives and slightest acquaintances who are male and single will never forgive you if they don’t get invited to this shindig with that many beautiful women in attendance.

    Finally, anticipate that Aunt Skye may turn catching the bridal bouquet into a full contact sport, which could result in a “parting of the Red Sea act” when you throw the garter.

    REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 1:11 am
    Too Tall

    Just one more thing, Jack.

    Right after you talk with Zed and get his blessing, I strongly suggest you volunteer as “highly trained and competent slave labor” to help get the Double D Barn ready for the festivities.

    REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 1:33 am
    Too Tall

    Going back to yesterday, the collection of trash on the floor of the “shotgun seat” and current beverage of choice of the “mostly peaceful, aspiring plastic surgeon” would be a serious problem at any time.

    But as Jack noted, it is early in the day, making the driver truly a world-class, elite contender for the Darwin Award with Woke Cluster.

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  • July 22, 2023 at 3:45 am
    Paul

    Please, just make Jack notice that something was wrong with the lettering on the truck. It ain’t right.

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    • July 22, 2023 at 6:38 am
      Stanley

      “What was that again? You’re braking up…”

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    • July 22, 2023 at 5:08 pm
      larryarnold

      Getting engaged tends to short-circuit situational awareness.

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    • July 22, 2023 at 10:50 pm
      pyrodice

      Well, delivery taking 9 months is a bit beyond their wheelhouse…

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  • July 22, 2023 at 6:09 am
    Richard Bostock

    When the wedding happens, it will be a “Proper Howard wedding”.

    REPLY
    • July 22, 2023 at 7:31 am
      MasterDiver

      Fat bellies and full harvests!

      Zar Belk!

      REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 6:58 am
    Stanley

    If that isn’t about the most romantic twist pulled out of a potential clueless “Huh?” moment, I don’t know what is…

    Nicely done, Chris (but I’m still worried about that spaced-out Fed Ex truck — is there maybe an Ex-Fed around to deal with it?)

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  • July 22, 2023 at 8:52 am
    Bill G

    So much happiness; is it a precursor to sorrow?

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  • July 22, 2023 at 9:53 am
    Brent+Dotson

    Maybe the gangbanger in the car was running interference (or backup) to the Fedex truck. Would make sense to protect their “investment”

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  • July 22, 2023 at 11:35 am
    Jim Smith

    I hope for their safety. In the meantime, NEVER pull off on the side of the highway at night and leave your lights on; ditto for blinkers and brake lights. Turn’em all off. Might save your life.

    REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 12:24 pm
    ULTRA-MAGA TOP DAWG JTC

    “Turn’em all off. Might save your life.”

    Please expound on that?

    REPLY
    • July 22, 2023 at 3:09 pm
      LowKey

      Two reasons come to mind.
      First, half asleep drivers will follow taillights, but they may not notice you’ve stopped and may rear end you.
      Secondly, predatory types will stop to take advantage of stranded motorists.

      Lights off, and there’s a fairly good chance a car will be past you before the driver has time to notice you’re there and decide to stop. If they do you’ll see their brakes come on as the slow to s stop and then have to reverse back to you, giving you time to size them up and take what measures you deem warranted.

      REPLY
      • July 22, 2023 at 9:37 pm
        ULTRA-MAGA TOP DAWG JTC

        I guess so. That all-caps NEVER was pretty emphatic, making it seem like a hard and fast settled action as opposed to general safety tips…?

  • July 22, 2023 at 1:40 pm
    Browncoat57

    He knew? If he’s that aware, that could smooth things over, somewhat, with the future in-laws.
    It may also play a part in averting any potential, future tragedy involving the aforementioned, coyotes and false transports.

    REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 3:13 pm
    LowKey

    My worries for those two at the moment are El Guapo isn’t in the package truck but trailing it; and he either runs off the road and hits the parked car, or he decides to pull over and rob/assault them.

    The first could have minor to tragic outcomes, the second more likely to have El Guapo feeding the other coyotes.

    REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 3:45 pm
    Tom Stockton

    Re: “Fed Ex” truck —

    Is it possible that Mr. Muir is avoiding any legal entanglements with a copyrighted trademark? You know, let us know what it is (or is pretending to be) without getting any lawyer-types involved?

    Guess the next couple of days will clear things up…

    Regards,
    Tom Stockton

    REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 8:19 pm
    Kafiroon

    With the training, the girls have had, Kiko should be carrying. Maybe more than one.

    REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 9:31 pm
    ULTRA-MAGA TOP DAWG JTC
    • July 23, 2023 at 7:23 am
      Wood

      @JTC I saw that. Positively dystopian. No IRS agent should be allowed to carry. Get US Marshals to escort if they need it, otherwise they can be scared and polite.

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    • July 23, 2023 at 9:46 am
      Browncoat57

      If only they’d do this at the White House over the illegal millions Brandon and Hunter have acquired. Then it would be justified.

      REPLY
  • July 22, 2023 at 10:48 pm
    pyrodice

    something something Jack and Diane.

    REPLY

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