President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neanderthal B Woodman Domestic Violent Extremist SuperStraight
yep. Keep those pants zippered up.
March 8, 2022 at 12:25 am
Too Tall
That’s two in a row for Sam.
While it is not likely Zed would kill Jack, it can be very useful for your daughters and their potential suitors to fear that it is way more than possible that you might. Cleaning the 1911, tuning up the backhoe, surveying the back 40, just normal routines.
Uncertainty can be extremely useful at times. Keeps everyone on their best behavior.
Actually, that is three in a row for Sam as she just diplomatically delivered an unwelcome message in a manner that is certain to trigger a “read and heed” response.
As Pamela and others have suggested, it might be time for Aunt Naomi to have a heart to heart talk with each of the girls.
Twins are better born and bred than this, but in my recent (last 10 years or so) observation, those sizzling sexy and very aggressive Ukrainian gals are doing a lot more of the invading of those poor innocent Russkie Komrade Kids than the other way around.
Watch Out Sam, Heinlein quote incoming:
Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs – sex especially. When they are growing up, they are nerve ends all over, and resent (quite properly) any invasion of their privacy. Oh, sure, they’ll make mistakes – but that’s their business, not yours. (You made your own mistakes, did you not?)
Robert A. Heinlein
There have been damn few situations I have come across in 71 years that there wasn’t one of his quotes that didn’t deal with, I don’t know that he was a “genius” but damn me if he wasn’t right.
I have two grown daughters; one was active at 11 or 12ish, the other at 18. The first married a Lutheran Pastor, the latter a former Marine. Both have two kids — two girls, two boys. Early age (and hormones) don’t mean nothing. Yeah, I like to wore off the bluing cleaning my guns on the kitchen table over that young-un.
3 daughters of my own, all suitors, callers, and anyone interested in going out with any one of them spent an afternoon at the skeet range with me. First, it showed I have a shotgun or two, and know how to use them. More importantly, I got to see if the kid was safe, listened to directions, and respected stuff I was proud of (my firearms, and by extension, the daughter). If we had a good day, I’d allow a good evening with the short safety briefing,. All 3 married well, doing the “happily ever after…”
I’m sure Zed has a primary, a backup, and a contingency plan, this will be fun to watch.
my dad used to greet the various boyfriends of my 2 younger sisters while field stripping and cleaning an M1 Garand. if they knew it was a rifle, they were still suspect, but had some leeway. if they kit was a Garand, they were acceptable.
one kid thought it was a shotgun. he got shown how bayonets work in crowd control, and escorted off the property never to return.
Lets face it folks by the age 18 most girls have lost there virginity. They want to please their boyfriends is real strong and the man’s lust is strong too. On a personal note my first wife and it started when she was 14 and I was 15. We later married right out of high school. No she was not pregnant, I was a believer of rubbers. But that is the way it goes people. Get real here.
Jack’s dead. He just doesn’t know it yet, and given Zed’s skill, he might get a chance to know it. But if Zed is like many dads. He’s gonna prefer to be up close and personal.
Zed’s probable rules for dating his daughters, its a long one sorry.:
Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
I greeted my daughter’s suitors with this; “Son, I’m not at all afraid of going back to prison, so let’s get that straight right now.” And I could hear my daughter’s shriek from upstairs where they were doing final preps for departure, “Dad!”
PSA ~ Regarding crossing some borders the Girls need to keep an eye out and get a conceal carry to carry at all times. Naomi might want to show up sooner than later https://westernrifleshooters.us/2022/03/07/psa-65/
The first prom my oldest went to was with a boy she had known since they were 7 years old. I was standing in his mother’s kitchen the afternoon of the prom when he comes bee-bopping in. After being asked by his mom if he minded my daughter wearing braces he replied, ” Oh no, that way kissing is like dinner and a show”. (He’s still alive.) So, I casually took out my folding knife and asked him if he knew how to make a steer. (Mom is looking at me terrified, boy has no clue.) While cleaning my fingernails with the tip of the knife I described the process. As I finished, the light came on in his head, he apologized and left in a hurry. Perfect gentleman all night. BTW he is a tank platoon commander in Poland right now.
As much as I didn’t particularly enjoy the father/daughter/boyfriend games at the time, those memories are somewhat precious to me now. Bittersweet but cherished.
It’s coming up on five years (March 25th 2017) since my daughter (then age 23) had a devastating skydiving accident. She survived but the injuries took their toll… She passed in August of the same year.
As per Willie Nelson’s song, it’s not something you get over but it’s something you get through.
Offered as a father of two daughters now 50 next April and 48 in December who are still my babies, I cannot imagine the pain and always figured I might not get over or through it if it happened…
OTOH that pain would be mine and yours is yours, not our children’s, who of course would be resting in God’s arms, and in your case consider this…
Your girl died skydiving! Not by OD, not by TWD (texting while driving), and NOT praise the Lord at the hands of some slimy thug “boyfriend”. From her vantage point -and I hope from yours too-, that right there is a life well lived, even if not completely fulfilled. And she is forever happy, and forever pain-free.
Thanks everyone. Life served me a few bad turns but none worse than my daughter’s passing…
My girl packed a whole bunch of life into her 23 years… everything from traveling throughout Europe to riding a motorcycle across Canada from the East coast to the Left coast… more than 500 “jumps” but one too many. And Too Tall called it right.. parents aren’t supposed to bury their offspring.
Meanwhile my son is currently in Officer’s Basic Training and will be heading to the Canadian Naval Academy to become a Naval Warfare Officer. Many adventures ahead for him.
My lovely Texas bride has one son from a previous relationship. He’s been very prolific… seven grandkids… so I’ve got that covered off.
Now if our governments would just end the Covid stupidity so we could cross the world’s longest undefended border… Neither my wife nor I are “jabbed” so all the rules are against us. On the upside, it kind of forced us to start looking at applications for residency etc.
March 8, 2022 at 7:40 pm
GWB
Dang, they’re growing like Texas weeds.
Time do fly.
44 Comments
He doesn’t want ‘Invade’ either
Probably not interested in “negotiations” or “compromise,” either.
And no incursions into the no open fly zone!
yep. Keep those pants zippered up.
That’s two in a row for Sam.
While it is not likely Zed would kill Jack, it can be very useful for your daughters and their potential suitors to fear that it is way more than possible that you might. Cleaning the 1911, tuning up the backhoe, surveying the back 40, just normal routines.
Uncertainty can be extremely useful at times. Keeps everyone on their best behavior.
Actually, that is three in a row for Sam as she just diplomatically delivered an unwelcome message in a manner that is certain to trigger a “read and heed” response.
As Pamela and others have suggested, it might be time for Aunt Naomi to have a heart to heart talk with each of the girls.
My girl knows how to use firearms, swords, bows, and cannons.
I’m the one who taught her the first 2 in that list.
It’s all the lads apparently need to know. Behavior is excellent.
So apparently we missed a birthday!
Happy birthday, kids! See yez at the swimmin’ hole!
Yeah we’ve missed about five of ’em just in the last year alone!
My first thoughts exactly.
Twins are better born and bred than this, but in my recent (last 10 years or so) observation, those sizzling sexy and very aggressive Ukrainian gals are doing a lot more of the invading of those poor innocent Russkie Komrade Kids than the other way around.
Surrender … that would be a Cheap Trick.
Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright, they just seem a little weird.
Some bit of nostalgia at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgN_8cxBCWw
Jack’s best move is spending at least half as much time wooing girl’s dad as wooing girl.
THIS!
Here is a little something y’all might enjoy. Cation bad words here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29veHfOMD40
Watch Out Sam, Heinlein quote incoming:
Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs – sex especially. When they are growing up, they are nerve ends all over, and resent (quite properly) any invasion of their privacy. Oh, sure, they’ll make mistakes – but that’s their business, not yours. (You made your own mistakes, did you not?)
Robert A. Heinlein
There have been damn few situations I have come across in 71 years that there wasn’t one of his quotes that didn’t deal with, I don’t know that he was a “genius” but damn me if he wasn’t right.
I have two grown daughters; one was active at 11 or 12ish, the other at 18. The first married a Lutheran Pastor, the latter a former Marine. Both have two kids — two girls, two boys. Early age (and hormones) don’t mean nothing. Yeah, I like to wore off the bluing cleaning my guns on the kitchen table over that young-un.
3 daughters of my own, all suitors, callers, and anyone interested in going out with any one of them spent an afternoon at the skeet range with me. First, it showed I have a shotgun or two, and know how to use them. More importantly, I got to see if the kid was safe, listened to directions, and respected stuff I was proud of (my firearms, and by extension, the daughter). If we had a good day, I’d allow a good evening with the short safety briefing,. All 3 married well, doing the “happily ever after…”
I’m sure Zed has a primary, a backup, and a contingency plan, this will be fun to watch.
my dad used to greet the various boyfriends of my 2 younger sisters while field stripping and cleaning an M1 Garand. if they knew it was a rifle, they were still suspect, but had some leeway. if they kit was a Garand, they were acceptable.
one kid thought it was a shotgun. he got shown how bayonets work in crowd control, and escorted off the property never to return.
Lets face it folks by the age 18 most girls have lost there virginity. They want to please their boyfriends is real strong and the man’s lust is strong too. On a personal note my first wife and it started when she was 14 and I was 15. We later married right out of high school. No she was not pregnant, I was a believer of rubbers. But that is the way it goes people. Get real here.
Steve, the Dance of the Virgins is largely upside down in this modern “culture; see my comment upthread @ 12:57…
Jack’s dead. He just doesn’t know it yet, and given Zed’s skill, he might get a chance to know it. But if Zed is like many dads. He’s gonna prefer to be up close and personal.
Good lord, could you imagine a tranq dart at long range loaded with an estrogen like payload?
Owie! My side hurts from laughing. Will it be premenstrual crying jags or Hot Flashes where clothes come off ?
Speaking of such… imagine the chaos of an FBI attack squad suddenly jacked up on viagra… trying to sneak and crawl with turgid appendages…
Just hope there aren’t any hungry calves needing a feed
Zed’s probable rules for dating his daughters, its a long one sorry.:
Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
This is a practical man with a steadfast plan! Good on you Sir!
I greeted my daughter’s suitors with this; “Son, I’m not at all afraid of going back to prison, so let’s get that straight right now.” And I could hear my daughter’s shriek from upstairs where they were doing final preps for departure, “Dad!”
Good Lord, oil is up *another* $6 this morning, start looking for $5 gas very soon, and who knows from there?
Tell us again how it’s not your fault we’re over a barrel again, puppet boy…
Oil is now up $10! on the day and gold is up 62.00!
Somethin’ happening’ here, what it is ain’t exactly clear…
When driving in traffic, young ladies should obey all signals and traffic signals, with the exception of those directing them to “YIELD”.
Zar Belk!
PSA ~ Regarding crossing some borders the Girls need to keep an eye out and get a conceal carry to carry at all times. Naomi might want to show up sooner than later
https://westernrifleshooters.us/2022/03/07/psa-65/
There’s a great country song about a daughter going out on a date with the lyric, “I’ll be here cleaning my guns”.
Yep…
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rodneyatkins/cleaningthisguncomeoninboy.html
The first prom my oldest went to was with a boy she had known since they were 7 years old. I was standing in his mother’s kitchen the afternoon of the prom when he comes bee-bopping in. After being asked by his mom if he minded my daughter wearing braces he replied, ” Oh no, that way kissing is like dinner and a show”. (He’s still alive.) So, I casually took out my folding knife and asked him if he knew how to make a steer. (Mom is looking at me terrified, boy has no clue.) While cleaning my fingernails with the tip of the knife I described the process. As I finished, the light came on in his head, he apologized and left in a hurry. Perfect gentleman all night. BTW he is a tank platoon commander in Poland right now.
As much as I didn’t particularly enjoy the father/daughter/boyfriend games at the time, those memories are somewhat precious to me now. Bittersweet but cherished.
It’s coming up on five years (March 25th 2017) since my daughter (then age 23) had a devastating skydiving accident. She survived but the injuries took their toll… She passed in August of the same year.
As per Willie Nelson’s song, it’s not something you get over but it’s something you get through.
My condolences about yo9ur daughter.
Cherish your memories.
Damn, Wayne. Hang in there.
WayneM…
Offered as a father of two daughters now 50 next April and 48 in December who are still my babies, I cannot imagine the pain and always figured I might not get over or through it if it happened…
OTOH that pain would be mine and yours is yours, not our children’s, who of course would be resting in God’s arms, and in your case consider this…
Your girl died skydiving! Not by OD, not by TWD (texting while driving), and NOT praise the Lord at the hands of some slimy thug “boyfriend”. From her vantage point -and I hope from yours too-, that right there is a life well lived, even if not completely fulfilled. And she is forever happy, and forever pain-free.
Prayers…but more for you than for her.
Her boyfriend/commonlaw partner and friends made this video…
https://youtu.be/S3vD2vWUdUU
WayneM, prayers up for you and your daughter.
Parents aren’t meant to bury a child. You are getting through it with grace and dignity.
Thanks everyone. Life served me a few bad turns but none worse than my daughter’s passing…
My girl packed a whole bunch of life into her 23 years… everything from traveling throughout Europe to riding a motorcycle across Canada from the East coast to the Left coast… more than 500 “jumps” but one too many. And Too Tall called it right.. parents aren’t supposed to bury their offspring.
Meanwhile my son is currently in Officer’s Basic Training and will be heading to the Canadian Naval Academy to become a Naval Warfare Officer. Many adventures ahead for him.
My lovely Texas bride has one son from a previous relationship. He’s been very prolific… seven grandkids… so I’ve got that covered off.
Now if our governments would just end the Covid stupidity so we could cross the world’s longest undefended border… Neither my wife nor I are “jabbed” so all the rules are against us. On the upside, it kind of forced us to start looking at applications for residency etc.
Dang, they’re growing like Texas weeds.
Time do fly.
I’d worry about “bombardment” from Russian arty. So to speak.